Love is Empowering

The Lord says, “I will make my people strong with power from me! They will go wherever they wish, and wherever they go, they will be under my personal care.” (Zech. 10:12—TLB)

Powerful Source
Imagine what it would be like to truly know that there is an Almighty power on your side in every situation: As you enter a business meeting, speak to your spouse about something you have been afraid to discuss, travel to a foreign country, learn a difficult computer skill, or stand for what is right in the face of opposition. The ancient Israelites truly did know they had a divine power on their side. That is what gave them the ability to defeat armies, against which they were vastly outnumbered, find abundant supply when there was famine, overcome fear, conceive children beyond child bearing years, break out of bondage, receive healings of every nature, and even overcome the clutches of death. How mighty was their God? He was all-powerful, and ever-present. Is this the same Divine Being from whom we claim power and take action? Accepting that Divinity is timeless and within us, imagine how empowered we would feel and begin to act, if we really stood on having a power-based relationship with our Source. Step by step we can learn to be more empowered, through a growing awareness of how the supreme nature of Divinity expresses itself in and around us.

Weakness Made Empowered
Raised by Egyptian royalty, Moses was connected to a human sense of power. But he felt torn from his true Jewish heritage, and had yet to discover power based on relationship with the Divine. When he witnessed a Jewish slave being abused, Moses murdered the aggressor, and then fled in fear to the land of Midian where he hid out for the next forty years. In addition to being gripped by fear, Moses was also a man who was ‘slow of speech,’ hardly a motivating characteristic for a revolutionary leader-to-be. Still, in Moses’ pathway to becoming spiritually empowered, he experienced hearing God’s voice, witnessed a bush burn without being consumed, a stick change into a moving serpent, and he saw and felt his own leprous condition instantaneously healed.

All these demonstrations taught Moses to feel the nature of infinite Power and Presence, which were always with him. They also prepared him for receiving even greater demonstrations in the future. Through these experiences, Moses grew confident in spiritual authority and Spirit’s ultimate care for him and his people. Eventually he realized that God was directing his every action, and gained the trust that he needed to face down the Pharaoh of Egypt—the pinnacle of human power at the time. How do we act when we need to face the most powerful person in our workplace, family, or social circle? Perhaps we can learn the way to be empowered from Moses.

With a show of force Pharaoh sent his army and hundreds of chariots to destroy Moses and the Israelites as they ran toward the banks of the Red Sea. It appeared that the Israelites were trapped and doomed. Yet, Moses trusted what he already knew and had seen of the power of divine guidance. He told his fear filled people: “Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will shew to you today” (Ex. 14:13). Do we find our spiritual center, our powerful stillness, when the outward circumstances of our life appear fearful—when we feel walled in by some situation? While Moses was facing potential death at the Red Sea, verbal tradition has it that Moses declared out loud: “We are in a helpless place, but the sea, if thou commandest it, will become dry land. Nay, we might escape by a flight through the air, if thou should’st determine that we should have that way of salvation.” (REF.)

Amazingly, Moses didn’t plead for God to help, nor tell Him how to do it. He just confidently stood on the spiritual fact that the powerful nature of Divinity would definitely bring salvation for them, no matter what way it came—and of course God did!How can we more fully embrace what we already know of Divinity’s power and protection for us? How can we begin acting as if we know that infinite Truth and Love are fully on our side, ready to show us what to say and do, ready to provide us strength, resources, opportunities, and a way for us to accomplish what we need to? We are weak on our own, but powerful together with the Supreme Presence within us.

It’s been said that one with spiritual reality is a majority. We all have the innate design to express divine Power in what is honest, kind, just, safe, wise, and bountiful. We have been given spiritual ability to exercise these qualities in every day circumstances of our lives. As we act, we will feel even more empowered. If we fail to act, we will feel weaker.

Empowered vs. Victim
Empowered individuals take responsibility for creating their own experience. We cannot control every detail of what happens to us. But, we can choose how we respond to what happens to us. To think otherwise is to forfeit one’s power, and play the victim of circumstance. The disempowered person believes that their experience is in someone else’s hands. When looking at how their life has turned out, they blame the government, their parents, siblings, boss, teacher, racial prejudice, the weather, and just about everything else—rather than looking within themselves and how they have chosen to respond to their circumstances.

There is no doubt that difficult conditions, faulty governments, less than perfect parents, and racial prejudice do exist. Yet, empowered people use these difficulties to evolve, while the disempowered feel defeated or stuck in hurt or resentment. An amazing example of one who overcame extreme difficulties without resentment is Nelson Mandela and all that he endured during Apartheid, including twenty-seven years of unjust imprisonment, before victoriously becoming the first black president of South Africa. An empowered person realizes that they alone are in charge of how they experience life; they choose their own attitudes, actions, and happiness. In a sense they realize they are largely creating their own heaven or hell by their responses to life.

The disempowered live a life of limited or no possibilities, since they believe that something external is responsible for their experience. Their false perspective makes them feel weak, since they believe they must wait for their circumstances to change before they can. Sometimes their circumstances never do. The disempowered person focuses on the past for the reason why their future will bring more of the same. Empowered people live life with a sense of fresh possibility, and refuse to limit their experience because of what happened in the past. They focus on the present in order to build a brighter future. They realize that when they change for the better, so must their life.

Purpose, Power, and Energy
The empowered man, woman, or child lives with purpose and meaning, and an ever-more clear sense of self-identity. They are resolute about their intentions and values, and they decisively ask for what they want. They have the priority of standing for what they value and believe in, versus just trying to look good and be socially acceptable. Energetically, the empowered are spontaneous, lively, motivated, and vibrantly animated. They do not obstruct the flow of Life energy, and so they move with enthusiasm, passion, and a great sense of internal freedom.

Empowered people have challenges like anyone else, but they know that there is a solution. They trust the unlimited and caring Universe to supply what they need, and they trust their own process of learning. They consider the larger perspective of events in the context of the greater good for all concerned, and they understand that all things ultimately work together for good. They live in abundance, move in divine rhythm, and flow in harmony with divine will. Self-empowerment enables them to synergistically receive blessings, resources, opportunities, and ways to contribute. They willingly share support and encouragement with others.

Disempowered people live in confusion, resentment, criticism, and lack. They stay stuck because of fear, social conditioning, false beliefs, or having been hurt. They give off an energy which is repetitive, flat, disconnected, and full of resistance. Disempowered people have problems instead of challenges, and often try to convince themselves and others just how impossible their problems are, rather than really wanting their life to improve. The disempowered fear the process of change, and ignore the assistance that Spirit is constantly offering. Their life seems filled with scarcity, and focused on short-term limitations instead of on the unlimited potential which lies dormant within them. Which kind of person are you?

Perhaps in moments, or in certain areas of our lives, we have all felt disempowered or like a victim. So, we can be compassionate with ourselves and others going through such a state. With awareness of how we are currently being and acting, we can always choose again to embody Divine power, and live a life of purpose, freedom, and full self-expression. The Self as love is the power within us—the grace which motivates humility, compassion, giving, deeper levels of self honesty, and unlimited feelings of strength, resources, and possibilities. With love and honesty as our intention, we are provided the opportunity and ability to feel and experience Divine Love’s power.

Make the Shift
If we are feeling weak-kneed or disempowered, how can we change? The first step is to align our heart with the infinite Presence that is right where we are filling all space. We can rest in the awareness that Divinity is radiating within us and animating our potential. Understand that we are powerful because the Allness of Divinity is powerful. Its infinite field of energy includes us, regardless of what we have or haven’t done. Leverage can make a difference too. It can be helpful to realize how feeling disempowered has been costing us in terms of health, mental ease, quality of relationships, and productivity. Once we are aware of the price we have been paying, desire can motivate us to regain our power and to take positive action. It takes courage to operate in a new way— to seek the change from within, instead of waiting for circumstances to change outside of us.

Humility is also a key, since it leads us to take responsibility for our own experience. This creates an opening for us to feel divine Power filling us. We can perceive that there is no separation between the nature of God-power and how Divinity is expressing itself—the Self as us. It is easier to take action from this heightened state of awareness. It is important for us to be kind, gentle and patient with ourselves during the times we need to make a shift. When we do make the shift, we will have more wisdom, strength, and momentum to do it again whenever we need to.

Intention & Devotion
Forward steps to a more empowered experience come from intention and devotion, just like they do in every other area of life. When we declare a pure desire, and are committed to having it, Divinity will provide us the way to fulfill that desire, as we are promised: “Whatsover ye ask in my name, I will do it for you…” (John 14:13—LAM) By clearly stating what it is that you will unselfishly be, do, or have, and then taking each step that Spirit reveals to you, power awakens within you. You may declare that you will get a job promotion, learn how to meditate, or find your ideal partner or home. Understand your source of power, set your honest intention, take consistent action toward it, and feel yourself receiving what you need along the way.

There are times we can empower ourselves by asking for help: “I will find someone to help me, to heal me, to show me how to be unafraid.” In my twenties I had a strong desire to find a spiritual teacher so that I could learn more deeply about humility. I was living in St. Louis at the time, and the same week I set an intention to find such a teacher, I suddenly felt impelled to book a trip to Boston. While in Boston I was standing in a cafeteria line when I met my spiritual teacher. This mentor faithfully taught me for the next twelve years, and I am still learning from what I was taught. What pure desire do you have? Are you committed to having it, no matter what? Then let Spirit provide the way for you.

Vocal Power
Divinity gives us both a voice and the wisdom when to use it. It is up to us to use it for what is honest, just, and good. Joseph Joubert wrote that “Justice is truth in action.” There is a time to speak up and to be heard. With wisdom we will know when that time is. When will we stop putting up with things we have been tolerating? Is there vocal action you should be taking now? In what way do you need to speak up and demonstrate more responsibility for your experience and those you care about? Your voice will strengthen as you use it with honesty and love. If you don’t speak your truth, you will remain disempowered, or even feel weaker.

Earlier in my life I worked in a warehouse. During my first day on the job I noticed many pornographic pictures that workers had posted on the wall above the shipping station. At first I was cautious; then I felt impelled to take action. I began taking the images down, one each day. After several days, a three hundred and fifty pound co-worker challenged me about the missing ‘Donna, Michelle, and Victoria’ posters. I spoke up about what I felt happens to many women in the porn industry, including the abuse and drug addiction they go through. I also shared my feelings about how women should be appreciated and respected, not thought of and used as sex objects. A fight nearly broke out, and several weeks of tension followed.

The word spread throughout the company about what had happened and eventually got back to management. When they questioned me about it I didn’t back down. The workers had a right to view pornography, on their own time and place, and I had a right not to. Within a very short time a ‘Non-sexual Harassment Policy’ was defined and put into place by the company, including the edict that no pornographic images were to be displayed anywhere on company premises. Following my stand for true womanhood a female Chief Financial Officer was soon hired. She was the first female to ever be hired in upper management in that company’s history. As I look back on these events, the real point was not whether I was right or wrong in my stance (because no doubt I had positionalities about it), but that I followed my own sense of integrity in the best way I knew how at the time.

Empowering Steps
There exists a higher consciousness—the true Self—within each of us, which is constantly impelling us to live an empowered life, by giving us guidance and making us aware of resources and capabilities available to us. Through awareness of and response to this field, our inner experience with the power of Divinity strengthens us, just like it did with Moses. We shift towards power any time we feel, think, speak, and act with honesty, clarity, truth, excellence, and love. What steps can you take, and what are you willing to let go of, in order to become the empowered person you were born to be? Just who could you be? Divine power is always available to us to be identified with, yielded to, and embodied.

Practicing Love is Empowering
1) Be Divinely Empowered: Meditate on qualities which are empowering. For example: self-honesty, courage, unselfishness, or willingness. As you meditate, focus on what it would feel like for you to fully embody these qualities in daily life. Just as Divinity initiated Moses, it is constantly guiding us to live an empowered life. From the things you have been shown intuitively, what action steps can you take today? The next step will unfold as you take the first one. Strength is revealed in action impelled by Spirit. Power that is experienced stays with us as a resource.
2) Develop Awareness: Identify two areas of your life where you are thinking, speaking, feeling, or acting disempowered. Write down the thoughts, feelings, or belief systems which may be blocking you from feeling empowered (i.e., fear, resentment, confusion, or a limiting belief that “Nobody will listen to me” or “I have never acted that way before”). Just by exposing what has been weakening us, we may use this honest awareness to make decisive changes.
3) Fuel Desire: Now write down and declare three ways in which you want to live as an empowered being of the Divine. For example, “I will speak my truth,” “I will live my values,” “I will set clear boundaries with my parents,” or “I will find work that nurtures me.”
4) Take Action: Are there circumstances and behaviors you should no longer be tolerating? Pick one area in your life in which you want to be more empowered, and go for it! Maybe it is to having the courage to stop tolerating things that don’t work for you, the discipline to stop procrastinating, or the humility to ask for forgiveness so that you can let go of guilt. When we take responsibility for our own experience, we can live from a place of empowerment to create the life that we really want. Step by step, it will become our naturally expanding way of being.

Experience is not what happens, but what we do with what happens. (Aldous Huxley)

To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive. (Robert Louis Stevenson)

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. (Seneca)

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. (Phil. 4:13)

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manor of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

Relationship Seminar

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Saturday June 20, 2009 @ 9 am-6pm
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• Deepen your heart presence: as a gift to you and your partner
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• Experience fun and transforming processes!

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Life's Important Questions

If you found yourself awaking in a car on the side of a road with amnesia, you would likely want to find the answers to several crucial questions:

1. Who are you?
2. Where are you now?
3. What are you here to do?
4. Where do you want to go?
5. What will it take to get there?

As the amnesia disappears perhaps you realize that you are a dedicated family-oriented partner, and you are on a safe road next to Hwy. 70 in the middle of Kansas at noon. You are en-route to Denver for a family celebration which starts at 7 pm. You surmise that it will take another 5 hours and a fresh tank of gas to get you there. With this clarity, you easily find a place to fill up, finish your journey, and arrive to experience a wonderful time. Clarity sure makes life easier, doesn’t it? Whenever you find yourself pressured, dazed, or confused by what life has thrown you, try coaching yourself with the above questions. The answers to these questions will help you find your way again.

Who are you? In order to solve your challenges and to journey well, you may need to be in better touch with the core nature of who you are. Positive changes always start with awareness. So who are you? Not what do you do or have, but what is your essence? What is so meaningful to you that you don’t want to compromise it? What ignites your joy and passion? What values make you feel like you are honoring yourself? By clarifying your values you can re-align with who you are. What do you value: beauty, honesty, or love? The qualities you deem most important act as your steering wheel when you are making decisions that affect the course of your life. Without defining them, you may be easily swayed off course or stalled by distractions or challenges on the road of life.

Where are you now? In order to improve the quality of your life, you will benefit by getting totally honest about where you are now. Most people have a vague sense of where they are. “My money situation is not good,” gives clues, but is still fuzzy. Clarity would be defining the details of your income, expenses, debt, assets, resources, and options available to you. “My love life sucks” is also vague. A more honest assessment might be: “I’ve been seeing a disinterested unemployed ‘friend with benefits’ for 6 months, I feel unfulfilled and out of integrity, and need to learn more about solid relationships.” Knowing where you are, including the environment you are surrounded by, gives you a huge advantage in moving toward where you’d rather be.

What are you here to do? Your purpose for going to the mall may be to shop for dress pants or to see the new movie. Most people know why they are headed to the mall much more than they know why they are going through life. My guess is that maybe one in ten people can clearly state what their life purpose is. “I want to be happy” sounds good on the surface, but isn’t that a result or a pleasurable state of being rather than a reason why one is here? Your purpose is what makes you come alive, fulfills your soul-yearning, and what makes you feel like the Universe is on your side. Purpose is what gives you motivation and the ability to focus your energy to overcome obstacles you will face in reaching for your goals.

What are you here to do? Your purpose goes with you everywhere. Even if you become unconscious of it, you can quickly shift back into alignment with it, once you know what it is and have written it down. Without clearly knowing what your purpose is, you may work endlessly to achieve a goal only to find out that it doesn’t satisfy you or that it was not in alignment with what you are really about. From our road trip example above, if you didn’t know why you were traveling, you could have just as easily stayed in the car (i.e, stuck, going nowhere), headed the wrong way (i.e., had a destination or goal that truly doesn’t serve you), or never have gone to Denver (i.e., not fulfilled your heart desires). Your purpose is vital for you to achieve lasting results and experience a fulfilling quality of life—one that is energized by motivation and soulfulness. There are times when it may be helpful to receive feedback from a friend, partner, counselor, or life coach, so you can re-align with your purpose and inner truth.

Where do you want to go? Knowing that your destination is a green two-story house on 21 Elm St. in Denver makes it a lot easier to get there than if you just knew you were headed to a house somewhere in North America, or a building where fun parties take place. Sure there may be interesting or enticing detours that are offered to us, but pain, suffering, and loss tend to come from ‘places’ that do not resonate with who we are, our purpose for being here, and where our heart really wants us to be. Spontaneity can be wonderful. You can still have spontaneity and not have to be in conflict with your values, purpose, and vision. No matter what happens you stand a much better chance of winding up where you want to go if you know where you’re headed. Without a vision people tend to wander through life aimlessly or remain fenced in by undesirable boundaries. As you clarify your vision, you may find that it is different than where you or others think you should go. Whatever you come up with, know that your heart-desires and vision will lead you towards freedom.

What will it take to get there? The better strategy and route you have put in place, the more likely you will succeed in your destination or vision. Granted, you could hitchhike to Denver, have a fun time along the way, and still make it to the celebration by 7:00. But, you might not get a ride, suffer heat exhaustion, go hungry, and miss the party entirely, which still can give you ‘valuable lessons’—if you truly want those kinds of experiences and lessons. The point is that along your journey you will have needs and face obstacles. If you have a clear idea of what your needs will be ahead of time, you will more gracefully achieve your vision. Journaling can be a good way to help expose how you operate and what may be in your way. Your obstacle could be a person, place, or thing. It may be an attitude, perception, habit, or belief system. Exposing these allows you to design strategies to better navigate them. Your natural excellence will tend to emerge when what’s in the way is modified or removed. Then you can successfully wind up where your heart originally wanted to take you.

There is a way to move through life with a more awakened heart. Asking and listening for the answers to these five important questions can be a beneficial way to journey. Peace and blessings to you.

Love is Appreciating

The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. (William James)

Decisions Determine Destiny
A woman, wanting to show love to her husband, prepared a delicious gourmet meal with great effort. While racing to finish setting the table she forgot to wipe up some spilled hollandaise sauce on the kitchen counter. When her husband came home and walked into the kitchen he set down some important papers right on top of the sauce. There relationships is about to change.

Circumstances like this have happen to most of us. Yet, what we do next greatly impacts our relationships. The husband may respond by quietly cleaning his papers while commenting on his wife’s generosity and wonderful culinary preparations. His comments will bring her joy by knowing that she has pleased him and that her efforts were deeply valued. Their intimate bond will be thereby strengthened. An opposite reaction would be that he angrily asks how she couldn’t have noticed the sticky glob on the counter she thoughtlessly left behind. This one self-concerned decision to ignore an opportunity to appreciate her (and instead criticize her) may lead to a night of conflict or disconnection, and perhaps words they both will later wish they had never said. Our moment to moment decisions really do determine the direction and ultimate destiny of our relationships. The heartfelt practice of consistent appreciation is a primary way to put our relationships back on a connecting course.

Costs and Benefits
Is your relationship losing energy and connection because of lack of appreciation? When a partner doesn’t feel valued they begin thinking, “What’s the point?” Living things such as plants cannot survive without nutrients. Likewise relationships cannot thrive without meaning and value which is expressed through the life-supporting nutrient of appreciation. If we miss opportunities and decide not to give gratitude for another, no one may notice. Yet, over the long term there may be a price to pay in the quality of our life and relationships. People around us may begin to feel overworked and undervalued. They will not want to go the extra mile for us. Whether they vocalize it or not, they will sense that they ‘can’t do it good enough’ for us. Closeness and connection will fade. Some of those around us may give up, close down, disconnect, get angry, or look elsewhere for recognition.

Don’t we all want to know we count, that we are valued, that our contributions are meaningful in our home, office, and with our extended family and friends? Certainly it is a basic human need to feel acknowledged and appreciated. Yet, how many of us actually do? And, on a scale of 1 to 10, how effectively do we consistently communicate appreciation to those around us? The quality of our relationships may reveal a gap between how we think we are doing and how we really are. Daily appreciation provides nourishment to a growing relationship that could otherwise become depleted.
People who appreciate us give us inspiration and motivation. They make life more enjoyable, and remind us that we are worthwhile. Our relationship with them is nurtured and strengthened by their attitude and actions. They have an uncanny ability to acknowledge us for who we are instead of who they think we should be. They express positive energy, grace, and an ability to focus on what is valuable in us. They benefit themselves by embodying such loving vibrations. Think of the people you know who embody appreciation as a way of being. What qualities do they express in their words and actions towards you? What kind of difference does this make in your life? What can you learn from their examples? Is there someone in your life that could similarly benefit from your appreciative speech and deeds today?

One of the core human fears is that we may not be enough for others. Smart enough, successful enough, talented enough, good-looking or emotionally fit enough. We believe if we are not enough, we may be rejected and left unloved, and this may feel like I very survival is threatened at some level. When we communicate to others that they are enough, we heal such fears, and we tend to experience ‘enough-ness’ ourselves. Our own heart is expanded with powerful and loving security. Love heals and replaces fear. Connection, giving, openness, awareness, intuition, inspired ideas, and abundant supply flow more freely through a grateful heart. Awareness of the good at hand tends to increase our capacity to recognize and receive more of it. Appreciation can also motivate others to show up for us in ways that may positively surprise us. How simple it is to acknowledge another for who they are to us and how they contribute to us and others! 

If you think about it, the ones who call you a friend will likely be the ones whom you appreciate. At any moment in relating to others, we are either drawing them closer to us or pushing them away. Honoring another is an attractive way to validate another’s significance and draw them closer to us. Appreciation can support partners to feel enough meaning and strength to transcend fears and obstacles when life seems difficult, and by working through challenges as true partners the depth of the relationship is more fully empowered. A couple can generate a momentum of giving, since appreciation comes from a giving spirit. How will you be the love which is appreciating today?

Practicing Appreciation

1. Awareness of Blessings: When we focus on the goodness in our life, we tend to experience more of it. Pick a time each day to reflect on all the blessings you have experienced throughout your day. It might have been the friend who called unexpectedly to watch your children, the customer service representative who went the extra mile to solve your problem, or your partner who made your home more relaxing or beautiful to be in.
   
2. Appreciate Yourself: It is difficult to give appreciation to others when we are constantly criticizing ourselves. St. Augustine recognized the human need of feeling special when wrote that God, “…loves each of us, as if there were only one of us.” This week focus on how wonderful you are. On an index card write a list of five of your most significant or beautiful qualities, and recognize how you express them in your own unique way. This list may include your humor, persistence, creativity, or the way that you show care for others. Post this card at home or work or carry it in your purse or wallet, where you can see it regularly to help remind you to appreciate yourself and the divine gifts expressed through and as you.
   
3. Show Appreciation: This week pick two people in your life who may not be feeling your love as much as they could be. Write down some creative ways you could show them more appreciation and be pro-active. You might want to acknowledge the uniqueness of their spiritual pathway and essence, listen to what is important to them, or acknowledge their emotional needs and if appropriate act to meet them. Then notice the positive impact your words or actions have on those same relationships.
   

The above article is excerpted from Being Love (© 2007 by Mark Petroff & Charlene McLachlan). Mark & Charlene are Certified Life Coaches residing in Orlando. They offer one-on-one and relationship coaching through their Being Love Seminars. 

For more information, visit: www.LifeCoachMark.com or email them: CSTChar@earthink.net &LifeCoachMark@earthlink.net