Being Love™ Seminars
Our next event is:
Saturday June 20, 2009 @ 9 am-6pm
Location: Hampton Inn, Altamonte Springs, FL
Participation Fee: $99 All credit cards accepted. Limited seating, so register today!
The majority of people in relationship feel unfulfilled. Plus, there are a growing number of singles who may be wonderful but can't seem to find a great partner. Wonder what it takes to have a fulfilling relationship: To find one, or make the one you’re in not just better, but amazing? Come and experience an all day life-changing relationship event with certified Life Coaches Charlene McLachlan & Mark Petroff. Designed for singles and couples.
Learn how to:
• Deepen your heart presence: as a gift to you and your partner
• Create your ultimate relationship vision
• Meet your and your partner's needs at a level 10
• Enhance polarity and passion between the masculine & feminine
• Master the vital relationship skills
• Experience fun and transforming processes!
Registration: Call Being Love Seminars today @ (407) 429-4390 or
Email your request for seats today to BeingLove@earthlink.net, or
Visit www.LifeCoachMark.com/workshops.html
Monday, May 25, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
Life's Important Questions
If you found yourself awaking in a car on the side of a road with amnesia, you would likely want to find the answers to several crucial questions:
1. Who are you?
2. Where are you now?
3. What are you here to do?
4. Where do you want to go?
5. What will it take to get there?
As the amnesia disappears perhaps you realize that you are a dedicated family-oriented partner, and you are on a safe road next to Hwy. 70 in the middle of Kansas at noon. You are en-route to Denver for a family celebration which starts at 7 pm. You surmise that it will take another 5 hours and a fresh tank of gas to get you there. With this clarity, you easily find a place to fill up, finish your journey, and arrive to experience a wonderful time. Clarity sure makes life easier, doesn’t it? Whenever you find yourself pressured, dazed, or confused by what life has thrown you, try coaching yourself with the above questions. The answers to these questions will help you find your way again.
Who are you? In order to solve your challenges and to journey well, you may need to be in better touch with the core nature of who you are. Positive changes always start with awareness. So who are you? Not what do you do or have, but what is your essence? What is so meaningful to you that you don’t want to compromise it? What ignites your joy and passion? What values make you feel like you are honoring yourself? By clarifying your values you can re-align with who you are. What do you value: beauty, honesty, or love? The qualities you deem most important act as your steering wheel when you are making decisions that affect the course of your life. Without defining them, you may be easily swayed off course or stalled by distractions or challenges on the road of life.
Where are you now? In order to improve the quality of your life, you will benefit by getting totally honest about where you are now. Most people have a vague sense of where they are. “My money situation is not good,” gives clues, but is still fuzzy. Clarity would be defining the details of your income, expenses, debt, assets, resources, and options available to you. “My love life sucks” is also vague. A more honest assessment might be: “I’ve been seeing a disinterested unemployed ‘friend with benefits’ for 6 months, I feel unfulfilled and out of integrity, and need to learn more about solid relationships.” Knowing where you are, including the environment you are surrounded by, gives you a huge advantage in moving toward where you’d rather be.
What are you here to do? Your purpose for going to the mall may be to shop for dress pants or to see the new movie. Most people know why they are headed to the mall much more than they know why they are going through life. My guess is that maybe one in ten people can clearly state what their life purpose is. “I want to be happy” sounds good on the surface, but isn’t that a result or a pleasurable state of being rather than a reason why one is here? Your purpose is what makes you come alive, fulfills your soul-yearning, and what makes you feel like the Universe is on your side. Purpose is what gives you motivation and the ability to focus your energy to overcome obstacles you will face in reaching for your goals.
What are you here to do? Your purpose goes with you everywhere. Even if you become unconscious of it, you can quickly shift back into alignment with it, once you know what it is and have written it down. Without clearly knowing what your purpose is, you may work endlessly to achieve a goal only to find out that it doesn’t satisfy you or that it was not in alignment with what you are really about. From our road trip example above, if you didn’t know why you were traveling, you could have just as easily stayed in the car (i.e, stuck, going nowhere), headed the wrong way (i.e., had a destination or goal that truly doesn’t serve you), or never have gone to Denver (i.e., not fulfilled your heart desires). Your purpose is vital for you to achieve lasting results and experience a fulfilling quality of life—one that is energized by motivation and soulfulness. There are times when it may be helpful to receive feedback from a friend, partner, counselor, or life coach, so you can re-align with your purpose and inner truth.
Where do you want to go? Knowing that your destination is a green two-story house on 21 Elm St. in Denver makes it a lot easier to get there than if you just knew you were headed to a house somewhere in North America, or a building where fun parties take place. Sure there may be interesting or enticing detours that are offered to us, but pain, suffering, and loss tend to come from ‘places’ that do not resonate with who we are, our purpose for being here, and where our heart really wants us to be. Spontaneity can be wonderful. You can still have spontaneity and not have to be in conflict with your values, purpose, and vision. No matter what happens you stand a much better chance of winding up where you want to go if you know where you’re headed. Without a vision people tend to wander through life aimlessly or remain fenced in by undesirable boundaries. As you clarify your vision, you may find that it is different than where you or others think you should go. Whatever you come up with, know that your heart-desires and vision will lead you towards freedom.
What will it take to get there? The better strategy and route you have put in place, the more likely you will succeed in your destination or vision. Granted, you could hitchhike to Denver, have a fun time along the way, and still make it to the celebration by 7:00. But, you might not get a ride, suffer heat exhaustion, go hungry, and miss the party entirely, which still can give you ‘valuable lessons’—if you truly want those kinds of experiences and lessons. The point is that along your journey you will have needs and face obstacles. If you have a clear idea of what your needs will be ahead of time, you will more gracefully achieve your vision. Journaling can be a good way to help expose how you operate and what may be in your way. Your obstacle could be a person, place, or thing. It may be an attitude, perception, habit, or belief system. Exposing these allows you to design strategies to better navigate them. Your natural excellence will tend to emerge when what’s in the way is modified or removed. Then you can successfully wind up where your heart originally wanted to take you.
There is a way to move through life with a more awakened heart. Asking and listening for the answers to these five important questions can be a beneficial way to journey. Peace and blessings to you.
1. Who are you?
2. Where are you now?
3. What are you here to do?
4. Where do you want to go?
5. What will it take to get there?
As the amnesia disappears perhaps you realize that you are a dedicated family-oriented partner, and you are on a safe road next to Hwy. 70 in the middle of Kansas at noon. You are en-route to Denver for a family celebration which starts at 7 pm. You surmise that it will take another 5 hours and a fresh tank of gas to get you there. With this clarity, you easily find a place to fill up, finish your journey, and arrive to experience a wonderful time. Clarity sure makes life easier, doesn’t it? Whenever you find yourself pressured, dazed, or confused by what life has thrown you, try coaching yourself with the above questions. The answers to these questions will help you find your way again.
Who are you? In order to solve your challenges and to journey well, you may need to be in better touch with the core nature of who you are. Positive changes always start with awareness. So who are you? Not what do you do or have, but what is your essence? What is so meaningful to you that you don’t want to compromise it? What ignites your joy and passion? What values make you feel like you are honoring yourself? By clarifying your values you can re-align with who you are. What do you value: beauty, honesty, or love? The qualities you deem most important act as your steering wheel when you are making decisions that affect the course of your life. Without defining them, you may be easily swayed off course or stalled by distractions or challenges on the road of life.
Where are you now? In order to improve the quality of your life, you will benefit by getting totally honest about where you are now. Most people have a vague sense of where they are. “My money situation is not good,” gives clues, but is still fuzzy. Clarity would be defining the details of your income, expenses, debt, assets, resources, and options available to you. “My love life sucks” is also vague. A more honest assessment might be: “I’ve been seeing a disinterested unemployed ‘friend with benefits’ for 6 months, I feel unfulfilled and out of integrity, and need to learn more about solid relationships.” Knowing where you are, including the environment you are surrounded by, gives you a huge advantage in moving toward where you’d rather be.
What are you here to do? Your purpose for going to the mall may be to shop for dress pants or to see the new movie. Most people know why they are headed to the mall much more than they know why they are going through life. My guess is that maybe one in ten people can clearly state what their life purpose is. “I want to be happy” sounds good on the surface, but isn’t that a result or a pleasurable state of being rather than a reason why one is here? Your purpose is what makes you come alive, fulfills your soul-yearning, and what makes you feel like the Universe is on your side. Purpose is what gives you motivation and the ability to focus your energy to overcome obstacles you will face in reaching for your goals.
What are you here to do? Your purpose goes with you everywhere. Even if you become unconscious of it, you can quickly shift back into alignment with it, once you know what it is and have written it down. Without clearly knowing what your purpose is, you may work endlessly to achieve a goal only to find out that it doesn’t satisfy you or that it was not in alignment with what you are really about. From our road trip example above, if you didn’t know why you were traveling, you could have just as easily stayed in the car (i.e, stuck, going nowhere), headed the wrong way (i.e., had a destination or goal that truly doesn’t serve you), or never have gone to Denver (i.e., not fulfilled your heart desires). Your purpose is vital for you to achieve lasting results and experience a fulfilling quality of life—one that is energized by motivation and soulfulness. There are times when it may be helpful to receive feedback from a friend, partner, counselor, or life coach, so you can re-align with your purpose and inner truth.
Where do you want to go? Knowing that your destination is a green two-story house on 21 Elm St. in Denver makes it a lot easier to get there than if you just knew you were headed to a house somewhere in North America, or a building where fun parties take place. Sure there may be interesting or enticing detours that are offered to us, but pain, suffering, and loss tend to come from ‘places’ that do not resonate with who we are, our purpose for being here, and where our heart really wants us to be. Spontaneity can be wonderful. You can still have spontaneity and not have to be in conflict with your values, purpose, and vision. No matter what happens you stand a much better chance of winding up where you want to go if you know where you’re headed. Without a vision people tend to wander through life aimlessly or remain fenced in by undesirable boundaries. As you clarify your vision, you may find that it is different than where you or others think you should go. Whatever you come up with, know that your heart-desires and vision will lead you towards freedom.
What will it take to get there? The better strategy and route you have put in place, the more likely you will succeed in your destination or vision. Granted, you could hitchhike to Denver, have a fun time along the way, and still make it to the celebration by 7:00. But, you might not get a ride, suffer heat exhaustion, go hungry, and miss the party entirely, which still can give you ‘valuable lessons’—if you truly want those kinds of experiences and lessons. The point is that along your journey you will have needs and face obstacles. If you have a clear idea of what your needs will be ahead of time, you will more gracefully achieve your vision. Journaling can be a good way to help expose how you operate and what may be in your way. Your obstacle could be a person, place, or thing. It may be an attitude, perception, habit, or belief system. Exposing these allows you to design strategies to better navigate them. Your natural excellence will tend to emerge when what’s in the way is modified or removed. Then you can successfully wind up where your heart originally wanted to take you.
There is a way to move through life with a more awakened heart. Asking and listening for the answers to these five important questions can be a beneficial way to journey. Peace and blessings to you.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Love is Appreciating
The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. (William James)
Decisions Determine Destiny
A woman, wanting to show love to her husband, prepared a delicious gourmet meal with great effort. While racing to finish setting the table she forgot to wipe up some spilled hollandaise sauce on the kitchen counter. When her husband came home and walked into the kitchen he set down some important papers right on top of the sauce. There relationships is about to change.
Circumstances like this have happen to most of us. Yet, what we do next greatly impacts our relationships. The husband may respond by quietly cleaning his papers while commenting on his wife’s generosity and wonderful culinary preparations. His comments will bring her joy by knowing that she has pleased him and that her efforts were deeply valued. Their intimate bond will be thereby strengthened. An opposite reaction would be that he angrily asks how she couldn’t have noticed the sticky glob on the counter she thoughtlessly left behind. This one self-concerned decision to ignore an opportunity to appreciate her (and instead criticize her) may lead to a night of conflict or disconnection, and perhaps words they both will later wish they had never said. Our moment to moment decisions really do determine the direction and ultimate destiny of our relationships. The heartfelt practice of consistent appreciation is a primary way to put our relationships back on a connecting course.
Costs and Benefits
Is your relationship losing energy and connection because of lack of appreciation? When a partner doesn’t feel valued they begin thinking, “What’s the point?” Living things such as plants cannot survive without nutrients. Likewise relationships cannot thrive without meaning and value which is expressed through the life-supporting nutrient of appreciation. If we miss opportunities and decide not to give gratitude for another, no one may notice. Yet, over the long term there may be a price to pay in the quality of our life and relationships. People around us may begin to feel overworked and undervalued. They will not want to go the extra mile for us. Whether they vocalize it or not, they will sense that they ‘can’t do it good enough’ for us. Closeness and connection will fade. Some of those around us may give up, close down, disconnect, get angry, or look elsewhere for recognition.
Don’t we all want to know we count, that we are valued, that our contributions are meaningful in our home, office, and with our extended family and friends? Certainly it is a basic human need to feel acknowledged and appreciated. Yet, how many of us actually do? And, on a scale of 1 to 10, how effectively do we consistently communicate appreciation to those around us? The quality of our relationships may reveal a gap between how we think we are doing and how we really are. Daily appreciation provides nourishment to a growing relationship that could otherwise become depleted.
People who appreciate us give us inspiration and motivation. They make life more enjoyable, and remind us that we are worthwhile. Our relationship with them is nurtured and strengthened by their attitude and actions. They have an uncanny ability to acknowledge us for who we are instead of who they think we should be. They express positive energy, grace, and an ability to focus on what is valuable in us. They benefit themselves by embodying such loving vibrations. Think of the people you know who embody appreciation as a way of being. What qualities do they express in their words and actions towards you? What kind of difference does this make in your life? What can you learn from their examples? Is there someone in your life that could similarly benefit from your appreciative speech and deeds today?
One of the core human fears is that we may not be enough for others. Smart enough, successful enough, talented enough, good-looking or emotionally fit enough. We believe if we are not enough, we may be rejected and left unloved, and this may feel like I very survival is threatened at some level. When we communicate to others that they are enough, we heal such fears, and we tend to experience ‘enough-ness’ ourselves. Our own heart is expanded with powerful and loving security. Love heals and replaces fear. Connection, giving, openness, awareness, intuition, inspired ideas, and abundant supply flow more freely through a grateful heart. Awareness of the good at hand tends to increase our capacity to recognize and receive more of it. Appreciation can also motivate others to show up for us in ways that may positively surprise us. How simple it is to acknowledge another for who they are to us and how they contribute to us and others!
If you think about it, the ones who call you a friend will likely be the ones whom you appreciate. At any moment in relating to others, we are either drawing them closer to us or pushing them away. Honoring another is an attractive way to validate another’s significance and draw them closer to us. Appreciation can support partners to feel enough meaning and strength to transcend fears and obstacles when life seems difficult, and by working through challenges as true partners the depth of the relationship is more fully empowered. A couple can generate a momentum of giving, since appreciation comes from a giving spirit. How will you be the love which is appreciating today?
Practicing Appreciation
Decisions Determine Destiny
A woman, wanting to show love to her husband, prepared a delicious gourmet meal with great effort. While racing to finish setting the table she forgot to wipe up some spilled hollandaise sauce on the kitchen counter. When her husband came home and walked into the kitchen he set down some important papers right on top of the sauce. There relationships is about to change.
Circumstances like this have happen to most of us. Yet, what we do next greatly impacts our relationships. The husband may respond by quietly cleaning his papers while commenting on his wife’s generosity and wonderful culinary preparations. His comments will bring her joy by knowing that she has pleased him and that her efforts were deeply valued. Their intimate bond will be thereby strengthened. An opposite reaction would be that he angrily asks how she couldn’t have noticed the sticky glob on the counter she thoughtlessly left behind. This one self-concerned decision to ignore an opportunity to appreciate her (and instead criticize her) may lead to a night of conflict or disconnection, and perhaps words they both will later wish they had never said. Our moment to moment decisions really do determine the direction and ultimate destiny of our relationships. The heartfelt practice of consistent appreciation is a primary way to put our relationships back on a connecting course.
Costs and Benefits
Is your relationship losing energy and connection because of lack of appreciation? When a partner doesn’t feel valued they begin thinking, “What’s the point?” Living things such as plants cannot survive without nutrients. Likewise relationships cannot thrive without meaning and value which is expressed through the life-supporting nutrient of appreciation. If we miss opportunities and decide not to give gratitude for another, no one may notice. Yet, over the long term there may be a price to pay in the quality of our life and relationships. People around us may begin to feel overworked and undervalued. They will not want to go the extra mile for us. Whether they vocalize it or not, they will sense that they ‘can’t do it good enough’ for us. Closeness and connection will fade. Some of those around us may give up, close down, disconnect, get angry, or look elsewhere for recognition.
Don’t we all want to know we count, that we are valued, that our contributions are meaningful in our home, office, and with our extended family and friends? Certainly it is a basic human need to feel acknowledged and appreciated. Yet, how many of us actually do? And, on a scale of 1 to 10, how effectively do we consistently communicate appreciation to those around us? The quality of our relationships may reveal a gap between how we think we are doing and how we really are. Daily appreciation provides nourishment to a growing relationship that could otherwise become depleted.
People who appreciate us give us inspiration and motivation. They make life more enjoyable, and remind us that we are worthwhile. Our relationship with them is nurtured and strengthened by their attitude and actions. They have an uncanny ability to acknowledge us for who we are instead of who they think we should be. They express positive energy, grace, and an ability to focus on what is valuable in us. They benefit themselves by embodying such loving vibrations. Think of the people you know who embody appreciation as a way of being. What qualities do they express in their words and actions towards you? What kind of difference does this make in your life? What can you learn from their examples? Is there someone in your life that could similarly benefit from your appreciative speech and deeds today?
One of the core human fears is that we may not be enough for others. Smart enough, successful enough, talented enough, good-looking or emotionally fit enough. We believe if we are not enough, we may be rejected and left unloved, and this may feel like I very survival is threatened at some level. When we communicate to others that they are enough, we heal such fears, and we tend to experience ‘enough-ness’ ourselves. Our own heart is expanded with powerful and loving security. Love heals and replaces fear. Connection, giving, openness, awareness, intuition, inspired ideas, and abundant supply flow more freely through a grateful heart. Awareness of the good at hand tends to increase our capacity to recognize and receive more of it. Appreciation can also motivate others to show up for us in ways that may positively surprise us. How simple it is to acknowledge another for who they are to us and how they contribute to us and others!
If you think about it, the ones who call you a friend will likely be the ones whom you appreciate. At any moment in relating to others, we are either drawing them closer to us or pushing them away. Honoring another is an attractive way to validate another’s significance and draw them closer to us. Appreciation can support partners to feel enough meaning and strength to transcend fears and obstacles when life seems difficult, and by working through challenges as true partners the depth of the relationship is more fully empowered. A couple can generate a momentum of giving, since appreciation comes from a giving spirit. How will you be the love which is appreciating today?
Practicing Appreciation
- Awareness of Blessings: When we focus on the goodness in our life, we tend to experience more of it. Pick a time each day to reflect on all the blessings you have experienced throughout your day. It might have been the friend who called unexpectedly to watch your children, the customer service representative who went the extra mile to solve your problem, or your partner who made your home more relaxing or beautiful to be in.
- Appreciate Yourself: It is difficult to give appreciation to others when we are constantly criticizing ourselves. St. Augustine recognized the human need of feeling special when wrote that God, “…loves each of us, as if there were only one of us.” This week focus on how wonderful you are. On an index card write a list of five of your most significant or beautiful qualities, and recognize how you express them in your own unique way. This list may include your humor, persistence, creativity, or the way that you show care for others. Post this card at home or work or carry it in your purse or wallet, where you can see it regularly to help remind you to appreciate yourself and the divine gifts expressed through and as you.
- Show Appreciation: This week pick two people in your life who may not be feeling your love as much as they could be. Write down some creative ways you could show them more appreciation and be pro-active. You might want to acknowledge the uniqueness of their spiritual pathway and essence, listen to what is important to them, or acknowledge their emotional needs and if appropriate act to meet them. Then notice the positive impact your words or actions have on those same relationships.
For more information, visit: www.LifeCoachMark.com or email them: CSTChar@earthink.net &LifeCoachMark@earthlink.net
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